Someday its gonna make sense


You know when you get that best feeling in the world, and you dont ever want it to fade? Yet you know thats crap cause its just another repetition, but deep down youre wishing silently that this would be it? Although another layer deeper down you tell yourself to quit being such a fairytale believer and that these feelings is just another game, another challenge in life? But you also hope for a miracle to prove yourself wrong and that you can actually, finally believe in these sort of things? These sort of unavoidable, irritating, nerve wrecking, heart wrenching, day lifter, bullshit-to-you (for now) feelings?

If only life wasnt filled with endless how’s and why’s..

As for me, im a half and a half. To the questions I stated up there, that is. I will always hold on to hopes and dreams. And that miracles come true and fairytale exists to the ones who are lucky. Theres no happy endings cause death is the end. And I dont know about you, but separation isnt something id say happy. Death has always been a scare to me anyway.. Hm, maybe he was right about my heart after all.

So theres this.. love dilemma Ive been told about. But only a one side story. Its not something Ive been through, but I somehow can relate. How both party is feeling. Its a wonder how some people can be so blind when it comes to love. True, love is blind. Ive known that, felt that, got immune to it a long time ago. But still. Its unfair for me to say one is stupid for not making the right decision, because people should always keep in mind how we never know that a person is going through. Assumptions are useless, so dont bother making them. Youre almost never right anyway. Thus, I keep my mouth shut and to never judge on peoples relationship or giving advice.. Unless someone im closed with because Im afraid ill be the reason for their break ups or anything.. Really. Some things are better to be silent.

P/s; you will not understand until you have gone through it. You can joke about it, smile, laugh, talk, complain until time prove how wrong you were. Honestly, the thought that Ive trust the person more than anything, and turned out the person is just like others, it breaks me into pieces that somehow Im still trying to fix it. But were you there when i need help? 


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