past vs presence

But of course, we are already familiar with the saying “time changes things”. And so we sit back and ponder about how certain things abruptly ended, how we lost our heart to someone and never got it back or how things always seem to happen according to another persons decision but never yours. 

It seems to me that we are always the one who got hurt, the one other people are tormenting and maybe the one who got left. But has it ever dawned on you that maybe some point in life we are those people who became the cause of a certain heart break? Maybe to another person you are the one who comes in and out of his/her life as you wish and that hurts them alot? Maybe you are the one who shoots rapid words to a person as if they havent got a breakable heart? Maybe you are the one with a cold black heart in a persons life and yet we always blame others for being the cause of our pain. What about their pain? Did we ever consider to treat a person the way we want to be treated? I guess some of us forgot about that little detail. 

Me, I have a habit of looking back at old things as you probably already know. And although it doesnt do me good all the time, I dont really mind. Because I always feel like Im the only one who hasnt moved from the pages Im on while everyone else has already started a new book and burned their old one to ashes. I think its incredible how others have the capability of forgetting memories so easily. I envy them sometimes, but then I wont. Cause I wholeheartedly enjoy reminiscing fondly of the wonderful past I managed to come across within my almost 23 years of living. Its just probably a little weird cause I cant expect people to feel the same way I do out of a sudden because well, they move on from time to time effortlessly. 

That being said, theres still one guy from my past who still fascinates me till this very day. Though it was the person he was at the time who remains in my heart, not the person he is now. Not that Im saying he is a bad person currently but well lets just say its who he was that makes it hard for me to forget him. It was nice knowing I finally found someone different, a version of different that I personally adore and so I hammered the little memories we have shared inside me. But as we all already know, things that feel good are things that dont last. So just like you, whenever a special person walks into my life I appreciate the existence of him being in my life everyday because even though he gives me hope as if hes not going anywhere, I quietly know that there was going to be a day where all the words and promises will go down the drain, just like our relationship. 

So at the end of the day even when we claim life to be unfair, we ourselves know that we have been mentally trained to accept goodbyes and changes every time it hits us so bloody hard. And though we lock ourselves in our own miserable world for it, we somehow wake up the next day feeling a little better because we have honestly gotten so used to it. 

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