yesterday was movie night. I was wearing LA sweater, a cup of popcorn with vanilla candles on as usual andddddd hair tight up as high as you can see the bun on top of my head like a preggy lady.
It was good. I love the movie but to be honest i kindda hate it if it happens in reality. Tell me, why would you let your ego conquer you just cause you are so afraid you might get dumped? You are a guy for heaven sake! Do you like waiting for the right time to come after 10+ years and after having a child then you realised he or she is he one? Hell no! If i were to be that woman, i would have give up or straight away ask him what he wants because as for me, if I want to move on I would really make sure that there will be no regret after that. I dont want the guy to come over to my house while i was having a baby in my arms or in my tummy and suddenly he begs for my hand again. Whattttt? I want my marriage to only happen once. I dont care. And if i fail once, i want to survive on my own because probably i just had a month of mourning and bawling my eyes out.. That would deffinitely teach me that no one can make me happy except myself. I will make sure its the guy that dumped me so I could never regret in letting him go. My principe in relationship is to never commit if im not sure about it and to never hurt anyone. If i dont like the guy, i will show him that im available in just being friends. No?
You dont have to be in a relationship if you are not ready. And you dont need anyone to make you happy. You deserve someone who you will be happy with and makes you happy. If you like him, show it, if you dont, stop. You might hurt him. For me, the biggest karma in life is when you make mistake to others that involve their feelings. Go for it! Although you think you will get hurt. But trust me, hurting others is much much hurtful that it gives you the uneasy feeling rather than hurting yourself.
The movie is somehow similar to a lot like love! And i prefer this one because it wasnt egothat goes in their way. It is just wrong timing. Peobably this can happen to us. We might fall for the person with wrong timing. Whenever we have the courage to confess ourself turns out he or she has to turn us down because they are in relationship with someone else.
You see, fate can come whenever the right time has come. Whether it will be next year, tomorrow or perhaps today! We never know! But bear in mind, dont be afraid to fall in love. Dont be afraid to tell others how you feel! And dont be afraid to walk alone and make yourself happy! Dont force yourself to commit just because you are lonely. You will find that kind of love is just temporary. Take time to love yourself and get to know the person deeper. You deserve someone who will appreciate every part of you and he deserve your appreciation as much as you do.
As for me,
I have done what I have to. You know how much you mean to me. I dont know what you want but one thing for sure, im going to keep you as long as I can. Im not sure where we are heading to but as for now im busy making myself happy and better for us. My heart is committing to you, only you. I dont want to lose you again. Not anymore.