Ambigu

Ambigu.

Perkataan indonesia

Yang bermaksud tidak jelas. Or ga jelas! 

Someone im closed with texted me this evening. Again, about love. I aint a love guru but its because we are close, so she has no one to talk to but me.

Jadi ceritanya, dia sudah break up dengan bf dia. About 3/4 months ago because she doesnt want to commit any relationship but she loves him. Its just that she thought that she is still not able to be a great lover and so she let him go. But really, she has no one else but him. 
So after 3/4 months which is now… She miss him. They texted back since a week ago and suddenly the guy ask her ‘x, what do you actually want from me?’ She got oanic and shes scared … Then you know whats next.. She asked me what should she reply?
I replied..

“I dont know”


First of all, ive encountered this before. As in, aku pernah di situasi this guy. Not the girl. If i were to be him, i would ask the same thing. Because you let me go. And now you are texting me which you are dumb enough if you dont realised that you are giving me hopes.


Back to the story.

She said shes scared and she doesn’t know what to say.

I dont know either! Because this is all about you. You gotta be honest with that. You cant ask me. Im not the one who’s texting him and still want him yet im soselfish by not being honest with him. Im going to ask you too. What do you want from him?

 _____________________________
Ladies and gents

Please. In this girl’s situation i may not be understanding. Because tell me, ist okay giving people hopes and expectations just cause you miss them and then you will leave them once you already satisfy your ‘need’? No. Put yourself in their shoe for once! 

Ive been in the guys situation. And it hurt me so bad. Because i love the person so much that i cant think of anyone else besides him. I tried to move on but i still cant. I dont know what kind of power he has but he totally got me…. And when hex texted me, show me how he cares about me, he was totally giving me hopes. And i did the same like what the guy did ‘what do you want from me’. Because sometimes all you need is a solid reason to make you move on. 
I dont care why and what the reason will be but if you dont want the person, dont give them any hope or chance. For instant; 

1) plenty guys texting me , although it was just a plain chit chat, but if its not about work – no.  Im not going to reply or i simply said ‘im busy. Cant text now’ because i dont want to give them any sorts of emotional attraction and i have a bf. I know how it feels being cheated or lied. Not gonna repeat that and not going to make him feel how hurt it is to be cheated. 

2) some are asking for my number. I told them, i know its just to be friends purpose but i have a bf. And i respect him. Im sorry.

I dont have to give any proof here. Enough if you can ask people how sombong natasha is and i always choose to go out alone rather than say yes to guys nak teman makan la apa la. Tu semua kasi harapan. And whatever you judge me , im that kind who dont easily buat orang sakit hati. I cant. Aku bukan la nampak baik sgt but everything yang aku buat aku akan fikir consequences and i will think apa org tu akan rasa, apa org tu akan fikir. Cukup dengan niat yang aku tak nak sakit kan hati sesiapa. 

From the above story, 

Dont do anything bullshit and give that shit to anyone you want. No matter what your heart wants, dont be one. Its great to feel how everyone loves you but think about the shit you might give to people. And that shit can change them into shitty ones because they dont wanna feel the shit anymore. 
 
Sometimes its scare me most if i stuck to one and only person because anything can happen. But to have a good relationship, its all start with you. Dont be afraid to give your best. 
xx

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