What does natasha really wants? 


Been ages huh? 

So i had to write this cause i think its important for people to know more about natasha and before i can forget, i better write this down.
My friend came to my room and we had a debate on stuff. She told me theres one resident likes me bla bla. (Same stuff over and over again) and i had to ignore. She asked me why do i have to turn down guys like them. Resident kut. Da la dokter. Wooooo. And ive turned down some before plus an engineer. Let me get things straight. This is what my father always taught me. ‘You can be a lady but when it comes to dealing with your future, think like a man’. 

You can fall in love with anyone you want. But when it comes to choosing a husband, you cant play shit anymore. I can choose to be in love with them. But thats not what i want. Im 24( gods sake) and what i want is a husband. 
I know I get this a lot ‘he likes you cause you are hardworking’ ‘he likes ypu cause you are a dentist’ ‘he likes you becaue you are pretty’

When we ladies get married, we will give you all invluding part of us, flesh and blood – babies i meant. Thats what ill give to my husband. In fact, i work hard so I could have a job and I could afford my family. Yes, im a family oriented woman. I promise to myself that I will be there when my children are sick, when my husband is home, when they are hungry, when they need money, when they need shelter etc etc. do you think by choosing me cuz im pretty is important? No. And i wont love a guy who choose me cuz im becoming a dentist. 
So what i want?

I want a guy who will loves me. All of him. Who will make me a better person, who can lead me, appreciate me, respect me as much as i respect him  and again, love me. I do not expect my husband to be at home always. Cuz my parents always in LDR and they have no problem with that. I do not expect a husband who always buy me stuff cuz insyaAllah i can afford myself too, i do not expect my husband to worship me cuz he has Allah too. But im expecting him to love me and accept me cuz i promise him my love and everything. 
After awhile my friend asked me, so what does Luqman has when you can trust him although you guys never met for 5 years? What makes you so sure of him till you can turned down guys who actually an inch from you?

Idk. I was speechless. Not sure of it too but yes when it comes to him, im sure of it. 
What if he betrays you?

…. Perhaps thats just a sign God wants to tell me that he is not the one. 
Friend; if you can accept his betrayal, why not turn him down now? 

Me; What makes you think he will betray me? 

Friend; idk. He is a guy btw. Perhaps he is texting and calling with other women without knowing you. 

Me; other guys are guys too. I know him. He wont do that. And if he does, its okay. Then God knows whats best for us. Dont you think?

Friend; idk. Its hard for me to consume all this LDR stuff plus you havent met him for such a long time. 

Me; i know. Thats what prayers are for. It makes us stronger and i feel close to him. 

If anyone read this, and still thinking about choosing me cuz this n that. Think about it again. Marriage isnt a toy. You cannot rush into something that you will spend your lifetime with. Its easy for men but not for women. Falling in love is easy but to commit is the hardest. Its an eternal job. 



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