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i dont know who else is with me

i hate when guys trying to be closed with me

or i hate when they start having any intention on getting more than just friends

 

its like i have this tingling when it happens. I hate when there are guys at the field when i jog, i feel like they are staring at me.

 

Call me paranoid

but thats what i feel.

 

I dont know who else could understand me when i try to get away from them. Its like part of ‘jaga diri’ but they want me to be friendlier.

 

idk how to explain this.

idk who else i could talk to.

 

 

I may look normal

But im not.

Feels like theres some part of me actually still paranoid over guys. After some experiences.

 

When i try to be loyal or stick to one, they will start to question ‘are you sure about that?’

 

yes im sure.

i think so.

 

 

im so messed up.

i told diana about this. I miss everyone. I miss everyone i could talk to. I dont have anyone here. Neither my bf who barely text me and sometime would leave our conversation.

 

I miss my friends.

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