i dont know who else is with me

i hate when guys trying to be closed with me

or i hate when they start having any intention on getting more than just friends


its like i have this tingling when it happens. I hate when there are guys at the field when i jog, i feel like they are staring at me.


Call me paranoid

but thats what i feel.


I dont know who else could understand me when i try to get away from them. Its like part of ‘jaga diri’ but they want me to be friendlier.


idk how to explain this.

idk who else i could talk to.



I may look normal

But im not.

Feels like theres some part of me actually still paranoid over guys. After some experiences.


When i try to be loyal or stick to one, they will start to question ‘are you sure about that?’


yes im sure.

i think so.



im so messed up.

i told diana about this. I miss everyone. I miss everyone i could talk to. I dont have anyone here. Neither my bf who barely text me and sometime would leave our conversation.


I miss my friends.


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