i know some things can change. like when you really love someone but end up hating them. Or perhaps you really love them but somethings going on and you have to stop.


5 years in Indonesia and ive met alot of people that come and go. But these people here, i never stop thinking about them cuz I really miss them. I never had any relationship with anyone (apart from my family) that i feel.. home. Who are they? Family Makassar. Tante Ros, Om Hamzah, Indri, kak Innah and everyone in Panakkukang. Tante and om are like my own parents. Whenever i think about thm, i can only pray for their health and happiness. I love them like my own parents.

And Indri? Shes like my sister. I hope shes doing okay. I hope she doesnt think that I hate her or ive forgotten her. I hope she can persue in whatever she loves, I hope she found her true prince, I hope she found a sister who can be there for her and I hope shes happy.

as for others, im sorry. For whatever ive done. They are like my family too. But for some stuff, i have to let things go.


I miss everyone. For all things that happened, people will call me stupid cuz i still love them like my own family. 3 years ++ with them. I shall never forget these good memories ❤️




Gue lagi di pedo. Which is kedokteran gigi anak. Lol omong bahasa indonesia. Okay. So dah 2 minggu dekat sini. Hari ni apa aku nak cerita is about my mom. 

Playlist : mother by adhitia sofyan~

Tomorrow is her birthday. She is so special to me. I hope i can be like her one day. Good side tho lol. Jadi apa aku nak cerita is bila aku dekat pedo, aku tgk bidak kecik ni ada gigi terabur ada yang…. Kau tengok pun kau fikir dua kali nak rawat ke tak (kalau kau bukan dokter mesti kau tak sanggup). However is still look at them like gifts from God. Aku selalu fikir mereka itu berharga. Semua. All of them.  Tu sbb kadang kadang aku kesian tgk gigi diorg … Mmm. Okay back to the main topic here which is my mom. 
So after aku tgk gigi diorg aku terfikir, tak ada org ke jaga? Maafkan. Aku belum ada anak. Perhaps aku tak faham kesibukan org da kerja. And ada yang gigi berterabur sbb ada kebiasaan teruk mcm hisap jari, gigit kuku, bernafas ikut mulut. Some dari penelitian, tu sbb psychology. Diorg perlukan kasih sayang, diorang takut, diorg mentally depressed etc etc. you can do research yourself. Aku malas nak elaborate. 
Pastu aku tgk gigi aku and kakak aku and adik aku. Kitorg semua alhamdulillah bukan jenis terbalik sana sini and tak ada yang disebabkan bad habits as i mentioned …..adik aku je pakai braces itu pun mild potrusion and dia nak sgt. So aku buat kan dia removable bracket. Pastu aku fikir lagi… Gigi aku and sibs aku rasanya tak ada yang ada problem since kecik… Padahal aku budak kampung yg arwah nenek jaga masa dekat bangi. Aku jenis budak kampung yang main pasir, main daun, panjat pokok etc… Masuk hutan. Dont think i was born in kl so im that swaggy kid main basikal mahal. No. Aku siap tangkap arnab dalm hutan and bakar katak plus tgk org cina tangkap babi hutan. So yeah… Aku dulu budak kampung. 

My parents are always in long distance relationship. Bapak selalu balik once in aweek or two weeks.. Aku duduk dengan mama. My dad was in penang pastu pindah seremban pastu melaka pastu kl pastu sini pastu sana. 

In conclusion; ive grown up well. You can see how much love and care ive received from my mom although we are far away from my dad and dari aku sekolah, we have no pembantu or bibik or maid. We stop when i was 5 years old and my sister was 2. At 7 we moved to kota bharu, kelantan. Still, my dad was in penang. Sampai pindah KL pun bapak dekat seremban. 
My mom is a super mom. Knowing my dad, and sometimes ill be wondering ‘aku tak nak kawin dengan org mcm bapak aku’ (sorry dad), my mom must be strong enough to have married this guy. Tapi dua dua aku sayang 😀 
Happy birthday ma. 

Indriani Putri Zakinah is legal!

It was awesome. Yes. Indri’s birthday dinner! And the event was successful. Alhamdulillah. Im so happy to see how happy she was during the party and everyone went back with full tummy and satisfied with the party. However, because of the buzziness and hectic and so on, I just realised, I dint get the chance to photo with her. Yeap. Im deadly serious about it. But we did capture some after going back to the hotel room hehe. So here some of the moments Ive captured during the birthday dinner. Enjoy!


To Indri; life is not a fairy tale, not like disney cartoons or a pot of gold. You’ll be facing a lot of storms and bumpy roads before you will reach the reality of happiness. Life is not created to enjoy but to learn and learn and learn until you can share with others around you. Always remember, what you have now is not permanent except, FAMILY. cherish them, appreciate them and always put them on the top of your priority list. Do not get comfortable with your surrounding as they can always change. Just like you. Study hard, play smart, get a good job, make your family proud and stop worrying about others  who are not worth your time. or you will regret for the rest of your life. dont worry in making mistakes, get as many experiences as you can, grab opportunities and always remember to be thankful in everything as God knows what best for you. Good luck in everything. Love you always ❤

To stay is to risk


Realization. It would take so much for one to finally realize. To finally acknowledge how life works. Some learn it the hard way. Some got off easy. I guess when they say its an unfair world they were never kidding.

Over the past few years, months, days.. Ive realized and learnt so much. You have no idea. Every other adults has a story to tell. Well, mine is perhaps not much different than others. But then again, it could perhaps be the most unexpected one. Everybody has a dark past, no matter what age. It could be now, it could be anytime soon. Or it couldve already happened. Life can be best described in one single word. Unpredictable. No exaggerations, because theres life to do all the proving.

People will never fail to surprise you. And as you grow, you will meet a variety of people of so many different forms. There will be people who gets on your nerves, and some who has the ability to sweep you off your feet. Me, I have a large variation. Liars, story makers, low or high self esteem, kind hearted, hearts made of stone, hard ones, easy to fool ones, and so on. Its a wonder how some people can be like this or that, when I can never have the heart to do such thing. Like throwing babies for instance. Heartless is not even the word for it. Hell is the one place they should be heading.

Ive realized that people can change in such a short period of time, its like he or she has already been through something so drastic and you would be left wondering where did the time go. Ive realized mothers can be so understanding it would bring you tears finding out how accepting a mom could be. Ive realized in the end, boys can all be the same, yet rarely but possible to find ones that can prove you wrong. Ive realized girls can turn out to be really pathetic, desperate in fact, when all else fails, or even when all is fine. Ive realized nothing much beats being in the arms of the one you truly love. Ive realized fulfilling a craving is one of the best satisfaction, and that the term “I live to eat” is worth it. Ive realized slow dancing to a beautiful song is a beautiful moment, and so is lying in bed and not budging an inch. Ive realized it is possible for someone to love you more than you love yourself. Ive realized there apparently are still people with big hearts and beautiful souls breathing on this very planet.

Ive realized I am always blessed with such wonderful people. People who are always there for me when in need. People who care, and love me with no limit. Ive also realized.. I was wrong about you. But so right about all my expectations. And in contrary to what you may think, I meant that in a good way. In the best way. And I hope you wouldnt ever let me down. And Im glad I know before I die, I have found someone just like you.


Thus, I would end this post with somekind of realization from Mery’s post that, I am happiness. I create the happiness and beauty of my life. I would go on as much as I can because happiness is to share. And I want to share with YOU and your family. And our future. Whatever things may happen, I will let the God to the rest as He knew whats best for us. If you choose to be with me, to be in my arms when theres no one else in mine, I remind you for this time, I wont let you go.