Always.

Why Im so lucky to have him.

Inspired by Sex and The City movie. For the 3rd time.!

Samantha: How often do you feel happy in your relationship?
Charlotte: Well….everyday.
Samantha: You feel happy everyday?
Charlotte: Not all day everyday, but…everyday.

Last night, Luqman and I talked. It was just a plain conversation where I asked for his opinions on my baju that Ive bought and soon gonna buy more. Hehe. 7 years we have been friends. 5 years we didnt talk much. Just a plain hye and bye just so we wont lose contact with each other.  Im glad where we are now.

We laughed, we made jokes, we developed a friendship that was so natural and effortless.

If anyone knew me best, it would be Luqman Arif Mohamad Taha. He can predict what id say and do, its quite scary.

Thats how I know its special.

Weve been through so much together, from nothing to something. Im still learning to understand him, his imperfections made him perfect.

One thing that i love him most is he can tolerate with my madness. Especially that time of the month. He will keep quiet and eventually put up white flag. I know I may be harsh at times. Im sorry. And those time i like to mengeluh. Like yesterday. Im glad I can talk to him. Eventhough we are miles apart but I can feel he is the shoulder I could cry on. And thats one of the reason why I will get mad if I didnt get his attention because I only talk to him. No one else. I hate the fact that Sometimes I can be too dependable on him. Especially when I need someone to talk to. And trust me, he is a good listener and the best in giving advices. I am so blessed to have him.

I write so many stuff about him cause I know one day, Ill read them back and I want to remind myself how deeply Im in love with him if hard time comes by. I want to remind myself that Im so blessed to have this man who stays despite weve been through ugly days. I want to remind myself that this man is a keeper.

 

IMG_5879.JPG

Love you always

Tea and ee

Look density

Perahu kertasku kan melaju
Membawa surat cinta bagimu
Kata-kata yang sedikit gila
Tapi ini adanya

Perahu kertas mengingatkanku
Betapa ajaibnya hidup ini
Mencari-cari tambatan hati
Kau sahabatku sendiri

Hidupkan lagi mimpi-mimpi
(cinta-cinta) cita-cita
Yang lama ku pendam sendiri
Berdua ku bisa percaya
Ku bahagia kau telah terlahir di dunia
Dan kau ada di antara milyaran manusia
Dan ku bisa dengan radarku menemukanmu

Tiada lagi yang mampu berdiri halangi rasaku
Cintaku padamu?

To the man i love.

IMG_2593.PNGUndeniably missing Sarawak and Luqman Arif

 

what you are lookingnow is just a picture. But theres more. I come to realise on how precious is this relationship is. Im not sure how you think about it. But everytime i read about negativity in relationship, i realised that im so blessed to have you. To choose you. Over other men. YOu are not perfect. Sometimes i can get so mad at you especially your attitude leaving our conversations when im half way texting/explaining to you…

I dont know where this leads to..

Im not sure whether we end up being happily ever after or youre just part of my life lesson learned.

 

But for now, thank you for everything.

Ive seen how broken someone can be when they went through a toxic relationship. Ive seen how broken someone can be when they are being cheated by their partner… Ive seen it all.

 

For now, im so thankful to have you. We are miles apart, we cant date everyweek like others do, but relationship is not just about seeing each other. But the love and trust we held together. Thank you for staying, thank you for loving me although you dont show it but making me your only one is more than enough.  I do not expect you to be like those guys who bring flowers for their gf, ive talked about this so many times. Enough with your commitment in this relationship. Because thats what makes me so happy each day i wake up knowing theres someone i miss and you have always been the reason for me to be better everyday. I know im tour potato haha but theres so many things i have to improve. Im glad youre the reason behind it.

 

I keep on giving myself reasons to be patience… i do believe you are the one. And i hope you feel the same thing. I have flaws that some people cant accept them. And you choose to stay :’)

 

thank you for everything. Im writing this because i feel so blessed to have you and your fanily. They are so good to me. ❤️❤️ Everytime i read all those heart broken stories (you know how i can easilu affected by them) they remind me of you because you have been such a great partner everyone can ever ask for!

 

When will i see you again?

i miss you

Tea and ee

Khal Drogo

Hello

Sorry i dont have any idea what to put for the title. Haha

To the man i love ,


Congratulations on passing your final professional examination! Im so proud of you! You deserve it. Ive knew you since asasi, you are a hardworking man, full with dedication and integrity, very focus on studies (sampai text pun sekali sebulan tapi now boleh dikatakan everyday lah. Almost) smart, and banyak lagi. Ill keep them for me okay. Hehe Congratulations! Good luck for the next step in your life! I hope you can be a good doctor just like your father and save many life! You will be busy 😦 but sokay. We will get through it. And ill try my best to get the same hospital with you! 😡 
Congratulations, cloud9.

❤️❤️

Distance

With distance

Everything can be blind

Dark and unseen

Everything can be deaf

Everything can be senseless 

And everything can be unknown. 

But here i am

Choose to show you everything

Choose to be seen

Choose to choose you

It is not easy

But for you

I try to make it easy

Because i want to keep you

Forever.

Love. Thoughts. Pray. LA. TNE

Thoughtful thoughts

Banyak jugak benda nak fikir.

Theres so much thing to be wonder about.

1) aku tak fikir pun nak kawin sekarang or minggu depan or tahun depan tapi teringin la juga. Lain rasanya cinta halal dengan cinta yang main main tanpa tujuan. Tgk org da kawin ni bahagia dia lain dari yang lain
2) aku teringin nak tau apa org rasa aku duduk post status kat fb. Bukan tak ada kerja tapi… Kadang2 aku lebih suka duduk sorang sorang and main hp daripada berkumpul selalu pastu cakap pasal orang. Seriously natasha selalu ketinggalan gossip samapai pasal diri dia pun dia tatau ada gossip. 
3) aku nak kadang post bnd bnd …. Tapi aku fikir takut aku salah, takut aku bawa benda salah. Kadang2 aku da tulis panjang berjela jela tapi aku decided untuk delete sbb…. Aku takut ada yang terasa. Bukan la nak buat buat baik tapi kita cuba untuk baik 🙂 
4) aku tgk post pasal tudung fareeda la apa la… Aku terasa ada juga yang peduli tapi ada yang aku sedih sbb ada yang mcm ada biat nak jatuhkan business org. Aku boleh rasa diorg boleh jatuhkalau tak pandai marketing strategy supaya boleh ambil hati org balik… Sbb aku tatau la kalau aku terlepas pandang ke apa tapi business kaum lain tak ada mcm ni. Nasihat ada tapi tak ada la sampai keji (?)… 
5) aku kadang kadang rasa… Aku sakit and depressed. Orang mungkin tak faham. Tapi fikir la bila niat kita da bergunung gunung tapi selalu kena brainwash. Aku penat. Sampai aku rasa aku tak layak tunjuk kat org sisi baik aku. Biarlah diorg nampak sisi buruk aku dulu. Aku fobia tunjuk sisi baik aku yg lama2 kena pijak. Lama-lama muncul lah natasha seorang yg sangat ignorant dan sesuka hati dia apa dia nak buat. 
6) dari yang atas, kadang kadang aku cerita dekat kawan aku. Sbb tak semua tau’sakitnya’ natasha. Aku takut tak diterima. Aku takut orang tak terima. Tapi kawan2 buat aku yakin yang kalau orang tak terima sisi buruk aku, diorg tak akan ada can tgk sisi baik aku yang diorg sendiri da jadi saksi….  Jadi for now lantak la apa org nak cakap….
7) fikir pasal masa depan. Banyak aku fikir. Terlalu jauh… Yang penting aku nak jadi mak yang terbaik untuk anak aku. Amin
8) mama sakit kaki. I think its the sign.. I should study hard and finish on time. Permudahkan lah segalanya. YaAllah. Kak emi pun nanti operate kaki. Aku fikir nak bina keluarga tapi tak fikir nak jaga keluarga yang ada sekarang.. Haih. Tasha. Kesian mama. Masa birthday mama aku tak happy sgt pun sbb aku selalu beribgat yang mama da berumur. Tu sbb sedih fikir mama da jaga tasha dari kecik sampai skrg yang hampir jadi dokter gigi. 
9) aku yang aku sekarang, buruk atau baik aku bersyukur ada orang tua yang da membesarkan aku dengan baik. Masih dalam bentuk seorang manusia dan boleh berfikir.. Rindu rumah.
10) masih terfikir persoalan acin ‘kalau kamu ketemu luqman apa yang kamu lakukan?’ 5 years. And i still remeber everything.  6 years my heart stays with him. If i can wait that long, i can wait another infinity. 
good night

xx

You

We all have choices in life

But for me when it comes to you

I have no other choices

Besides you

It has always been you

No other option

Only you.

Dopamine

Have you ever felt high before?

Nope.

I did. 

Simply took a love pill. 

Given by the right person at the right time on the right place. 

cloud nine